PRIDE Mystery box

Sat night: PRIDE. I was out of my house with 3 hits ecstacy, 3 xanax, one 10mg Aderol (gift from a friend with ADHD, two condoms, and two pocket size lube packets. If you want the resulting story, I must see at lease 10 comments on the facebook thread.

mirtzapine dreams

Laying on the stained, mud brown carpet, my mind spins in chaos. Fleeting moments of coherence emerge, sending my mental state from nausea to euphoria to dread at lightening speeds. I drag myself onto the sofa. Sitting down, I try and settle. From the far end of the coffee table comes music. It grows louder and louder as I move towards it. Clutching the corner of the coffee table, it comes through loud and clear. I laugh. I’m creating the music. It’s rather shitty techno. Random electronic sounds sputtering and farting over an insistent *mpht *mpht beat. But because I’m creating it, it’s shitty techno perfectly tailored to my mental state. It’s the best shitty techno I’ve ever heard in my life. I play with the sounds in my head. Sending them this way and that. DJ Shitty. Relief washes over me. I’m no longer nauseous or euphoric or dreading. I am shitty techno. I’m much better now. But where is the sound coming from, exactly? I lean over the coffee table and scan the assortment of junked electronics on the floor. A small white box emits quiet white noise. Is that the source? I climb off the couch and move towards it. But as I do, the music fades. Once again, I find myself back on the carpet, mind reeling. Never again question the source. I look down at the disgusting brown carpet. I should clean this. Before somebody comes back. I look for a vacuum cleaner. Instead, I see a petite, perfect in every way blonde in a bikini, crawling towards me on hands and knees. Her short blond hair slicked back on her head like a tennis ball. “Do you remember that thing I wanted to do?” she pants, her voice thick with lust. “With the vacuum cleaner?” I ask? “Yeah...”.

I wake up. It’s 4:35am. Do I dare go back to sleep?

It must be the mirtazpine (brand name Remeron™). The latest antidepressant I’m trying. A new kid on the antidepressant block that acts on the same brain receptors as pot and mushrooms (in fact, I can’t get high on either while on it).

So far, it’s worked much better than the others. And with much fewer side effects than the Celexa and Effexor. Save being hungry all the time (24-7 munchies) and having trippy, fucked up dreams. Which should pass if I stay on it....